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| Time cover from 1995. Things have only gotten worse. |
Porn. So reads the title of a recent cover of Time Magazine (...which is by itself pornographic and will not be shown here).
I know it shouldn’t shock me anymore. But it still does. I am shocked at how
many Americans view pornography today compared to what those numbers were just about
a generation ago. According to statistics quoted in the article, in 1975,
Playboy Magazine at it’s peak popularity had a circulation number of 5.6
million. Today more than 100 million people visit adult sites monthly!
Although it still shocks me - this increase should not come
as a surprise. Back in pre-internet days one had to seek out porn in ways that
made it difficult to hide. You‘d have to go to a store and buy a magazine. Or an adult bookstore. Or movie theater.
Today, all you have to do is have a smart-phone. So that in the privacy of your
own bedroom you can view porn all night long to your heart’s content – and no
one will be the wiser. In an era where instant gratification is practically a
religious principle, viewing porn in the privacy of your own home is simply a
natural outgrowth of that.
It should therefore also not come as a surprise that there
is so much animosity towards internet use by the Charedi world. It’s hard to blame
them considering the ease of accessing pornography these days. The numbers of porn
sites are virtually endless and are as easy to access as eating breakfast. And
are treated with about the same degree of casualness.
And this causes an addiction. It doesn’t matter what one’s values
are. Once you are exposed to it, values can go out the door. The sex drive is
very strong and can overcome the best of us – given the opportunity.
Here are some more statistics quoted in Time that shocked
me. A 2015 University of Bristol study found that 40% of British boys between
the ages of 14 to 17 watch porn regularly! And a New York University study of
487 men found that nearly half of them had been exposed to porn before they
turned 13! Another study showed that one particular adult
video sharing site had 22.3 billion views in 2009! And of 259 million internet
users, 107 million view porn on at least a monthly basis.
There is no question about the negative effect this has on
one’s spirituality. Wasting seed is against Halacha. And yet no matter how
religious an Orthodox Jew is, no matter what his Hashkafa - the power of the
sex drive can easily override religious values.
Leaving religion outside of the picture, is there anything
wrong with viewing porn? The conventional wisdom is no. The sex drive is part
of the human condition and is as natural as eating and sleeping. Modern psychology has always emphasized that. Some argue that viewing porn is a natural and
safe outlet for the sex drive – without which one that might seek far less appropriate
ways of self gratification. What people do in their own homes is their own
business, anyway - as long as it does not affect others. Well, if you leave
religion out of it - who can argue that this? It isn’t very holy? So what?!
Well, this article does a pretty good job of arguing that viewing
porn is indeed harmful. Even without the religious component. Excessive viewing
of porn affects the brain. In ways that are counter to one’s sexual health creating
an inability of a man to have such a relationship with a woman. The jury is
still out on whether this is a fact of not. But the evidence presented in this article
is compelling.
Men who have had a steady diet of porn starting early in
their teenage years may very well have become so used to the images they see on
a screen that their expectations of the same in the real world are never lived
up to. No matter how attractive a real woman might be. Furthermore as the
number of times viewing porn increases the need for new and more exciting
images increases. Making a live experience even more difficult.
This fact has caused a spike in women viewing porn… in an
attempt to see what modern day man wants based on what they view - and perhaps imitate
it. Or as one woman put it – to see how sex works! According to a study cited
in the article, 16% of women aged 18 to 39 intentionally view porn in any given
week. As opposed to over 40% of all men.
All of this then argues for a far better approach to
internet use. One that will give us a better spiritual life and a better physical
life. The men interviewed in the Time article
are all relatively young. And all agree about the devastating effects viewing
porn has had on them. And they are all trying to rid themselves of that
addiction. Among those that succeeded -
some have created websites to help others in their situation. And they all have
millions of regular visitors that want
to ‘kick the habit’.
One may ask if the percentages quoted in this article apply
to Orthodox Jews. While it is true that we are not immune, is our level of
observance a factor that reduces the percentages significantly? Do our
religious principle and values help us? I would
hope so. Surely forbidding the internet in certain communities reduces
the numbers of possible exposure. And filters surely help in other communities.
But one thing seems certain. The ban against the internet seems to be honored
mostly in the breach. One never knows what is going on behind the ‘closed doors’
of a smart-phone when no one is looking. So that even if our percentages are
lower than that of general society, they are probably greater than we think…
affecting even the communities where an Internet ban is total. Where there is a
will, there is a way.
Does that mean we should stop using the internet? Of course
not. It is way too valuable a tool to ignore. Increasingly so. By leaps and bounds as time goes on. And for the 60% of us that do not access porn
sites, it does not affect us.
